7 Oct 2017 - Things are picking up

2 Oct 
1020hrs
This whole session is a Rehab /Builder type day. I will start working KB Swings and a few other things as I get strong(er) and better conditioned as the weeks go on. The idea right now is to add 1 rep and 1 set every week until i get to 10 x 10. From there i will merely cut the rest breaks down and Embracing The Suck.
Spider Wall Walks 2 x 10 x Orange mini
Clamshells 2 x 30 (L/R)
Side steps 2 x 40
Side Plank w/ Clamshell 3 x 10 x Blue physio (L/R)
SL Bridge 3 x 10 (L/R)
Stir The Pot 1 x 20, 1 x 15
Nerve Flossing 1 x 20 (This is a movement i do not "push" very hard)

TRX 
Squat 4 x 10
SLDL 4 x 10

Skaters Squat 4 x 5
Bodysaw 4 x 10

Lunge (Alt with Suspended Lunge) 4 x 5
Atomic Crunch 3 x 10

GHR 2 x 16

1925hrs
Just a few extra exercises to make sure i finish the day feeling good. I also took the dogs for a relaxing 50 min walk. Focusing on posture and pushing through my ankles and glutes. I decided to do some trial run stuff while I had time to kill while i cooked my chicken wings in the oven.

Blast Strap Rows 5 x 10 x Bodyweight
Banded Side Step 3 x 10 x Black Physio Band

Kb Swings 1 x 10 x 35, 1 x 20 x 53 (shown)

3 Oct 
0855hrs

A slow increase in weight every week for 3x3 bench with a 3-5sec pause on the cheat.
Warm up:
Lax Ball work, No Monies 6x25xOrangeMini, Banded Sidestep
Bench 
5x3x180lbs
Db Bench (feet Up) 
1x11x35
6x9x44lbs KB
1x37x30
EZ Curl Bar Curl 3x25x20lbs
Read Delt Laterals
3x13x15
Rear Delt Rows 
1x13xx30
1x11x35
1x11x50
Tricep Puldowns 4x9-13x52.5
TRX Push Ups 4x5, 1x4
KB Swings 2x13x53

4 Oct
1025hrs

Back day building things up. Getting work and volume in. Nothing more.
Back Ext 4x11xBdywght
Bird dogs 3x10
Rear Delt Laterals 7x9-21x10-20lbs
CS Row 
1x11x45
1x11x70
1x11x80
1x7x90
1x7x100
1x7x110
Seated Side Delt 
1x21x10
4x13x15
Standing Side Delt 1Giant set x 7reps x35,30,25,20,15lbs
OH Tricep Rope Ext 3x11x52.5
Hammer Curl 2x17x30
Shrug Machine(2cnt pause at top) 
1x11x45
1x9x90
6x5x135
MCGill Situps 1x40, 1x30
KB Swings 5x21x53lbs

6 Oct
1450hrs

I had to make up for a missed DL session the Day before so squeezed a DL and Bench day together. Feet Up on Bench to build chest and take stress off the lower back.
Bench (Feet Up)
1x5xBar
1x5x95
1x5x115
1x5x135
1x5x145
1x5x155
1x5x165
1x5x175
5x5x165
DL 
1x5x95
5x5x135
6x3x155
10x1x155
Pull Ups 10x5
CS Rear Delt lateral 
1x11x8lbs
1x11x12lbs
1x11x10
1x16x8
1x16x10
1x16x12
1x17x8
Back Ext 
1x11xBdywght
1x11x20lbs
1x11x30
1x11x40
1x11x50
Slowly increasing the Volume on these. Long term they are going to build my low back and hamstrings.
KBSwings
5x10x53
5x10x35

9 Oct
1800hrs
GHR 3 x 7
Clamshells, Banded Side Step, Birdogs
TRX
Pistols /Squats /Suspended Lunge /Atomic Crunch /Skaters Squats 3x5 L&R
TRX Bodysaw 3x10

10 Oct
1810hrs

No Monies 5x25xorange mini band
Banded Side Step 1x 10x Black thera band
Bench (5 Cnt Pause)
6x3x185
Db Bench 9x7x45lbs (feet Up)
CS Rear Delt Laterals 5x11x20
CS Rear Delt Rows 4x11x30
CS Rear Delt Shrug 3x13x25
KB Swings 7x20x53
Tricep Pulldowns 4x20xBlackEFSBand
Football Bar Pushups 3x17
Hammer Curls 1x50x25, 1 x AMRAP Hold at Topx15lbs
Ring Push Ups 3 x 7

11 Oct
1420hrs

Football Bar row 5x10xBdywght
Side Delt Laterals 5x13x15lbs
Rear Det Laterals 5x13x10
Back Ext GHR 3x7
Kb Swings 3x10x53
Banded Side Step 2x20x Black Thera band L&R
Side Plank w/Clamshells 2x20 L&R

30 Oct - Inconsistency is not helping things...

23 Sept
1030hrs

I traveled up to Ottawa to see my Lifting /Strength Coach jay Nera. I actually was in the gym the night before. that session was more to catch up, shake my body out after the drive and prep for Saturday's training session. Admittedly my food intake was next to nil on the Friday so training hard would probably have been a shit show.
We did go over KB Swing technique and I can definitely feel when i doing it correctly in my Glutes. So excited to see how things progress with this now in the rotation.

Dynamo Barbell Club - Ottawa
Warm Up
Rehab Exercises 1 to 3 sets x 20 reps ea - Banded side walks, Compass point squats, Knee balance, Cat-Camels, Banded Lying Hip Ext, Clam shells, Lax Ball smashing of hip, Couch Stretch, Back Ext, No Monies, Spider wall walks, McGill Sit Ups, Cobra Push Ups, Skater Squats

Bench
1 x 4 x 215 (Post Op PR)
1 x 3 x 175
5 x 3 x 165

Coach Jay noticed i was benching with my shoulders a little loose on my right side. So after the 215 I dropped weight to focus on re-enforcing proper technique. My Leg is in place and my glute is no longer twitching or doing weird things when things get heavier on Bench. I am very happy things are starting to solidify in my shoulders so I can start hammering technique in.

Finished up with Volume doing Accessory stuff that included:
Incline Db bench, Flat Db bench, Db Shrugs (3 Count Pauses), CS Rear Lateral, hammer Curls, Face Pulls, Tate Press

I did these flat instead of Incline.

24 Sept 
Rehab Exercises throughout the day and getting my food sorted out for the week. My Nutrition has been a focus the last weeks to not necessarily dial it, rather have my food prepped. When it is prepped I have no issues eating properly.


25 Sept
1041hrs

Got to the gym later than I wanted. I should note I am starting my day with balance work, Cat-Camels, McGill Sit Ups or whatever else I need to get my back or hip require to loosen up. lately this has been my biggest issue. Just the reality right now I am not able to roll out of bed and train right away at 0400 or 0500hrs. I take the dogs for a walk and head to work then by around 1000hrs things feel good for me to train with only having to do 30 min or so of rehab /activation rather than closer to an hour if I tried to train earlier in the morning.

TRX Circuit - Squat /Pistol /Single Leg DL /Skater Squat /Lunge 3 x 5 ea
No rest with these just kept cycling through. My hope is that endurance and strength will build in ea leg, hip and torso. In Nov if this works the way I hope I will try squatting again to see if my body has adjusted

TRX Circuit -Body saw  5 x 10 to Atomic Crunch 3 x 3 (L&R)

Superset
Football Bar Rows 10 x 10 x Body weight 
GHR 6 x 5 x Bodyweight (back of GHR elevated on 25lbs Plate)

Felt solid and I was able to push the pace through out the whole session. Nothing pushed to the point of failure just building work volume from week to week.

26 Sept
0910hrs

This time of year getting up before the sun is easy. 

Under the gun for this session a little bit of a time crunch. Somehow my body co-operated and i got the bare minimum done. I need to input a lot more volume after Bench in this as the weeks go on.
Warm Up: Banded Side Step, No Monies
Bench (5 sec Pause)  3 x 3 x 175

Db Bench (Feet Up)  4 x 13 x 40-45lbs
Barbell Curl 3 x 31 x 30lbs
Rear Delt Row  3 x 17 x 20-30lbs
Tricep Pull downs 3 x 13-19 x 105-120 lbs
Face Pulls  1 x 50 x 85lbs
Band Pull a parts 1 x 50 x Red Band

27 Sept to 30 Sept 
The wheels came off my momentum. Work got crazy and so i kept missing the holes to get gym time. So this was a few days of nothing but Rehab Exercises at home.

1 Oct 
Shake the dust from the last few days. Prep for tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Warm Up
Banded Side step (lots until things burned), followed by No Monies (again lots, i think around 50)

Feet Up Bench
5 x 10 x 95+chains

Coach Nera wants me doing feet up bench for some extra focus on my pec development. This was a good opportunity to test them out. I added chains for something different. If I remember correctly free hanging the chains weigh 40lbs each. The idea was get work in without screwing myself up for Tuesday's actual Bench. Sunday is a rehab extra back volume day by design.

Deadlift
10 x 1 x 185lbs

Still simply trying to find my technique for this. My back no longer feels like it is going to rupture something. My Glutes are starting to remember their job so the bar is popping off the floor. The goal is to simple keep adding 10lbs a week until I get back to a weight i can actual start to program with.

CS KB Rows
3 x 10 x 53lbs

I need another 2" of height for the bench. For now as long as i stay tight this becomes similar to a Pendlay row as the KB's JUST touch to mats. If I am loose it feels like i have shortened the ROM by 10 inches.

CS Rear Laterals
3 x 10 x 15lbs

Finished up with:
Band Pull a parts 1 set tons of reps -Starting with the EFS Black then Red then Orange mini followed by:
Spider Wall Walks 1 x lots x Orange Mini

The week is done. 90% Nutrition and hitting 90% of my scheduled training for the week is the goal. Thanks for reading.

26 Sept 2017 - 4mths have gone by...catching up

26 Sept

Coles notes: (somethings i will get into greater detail in future posts)

-Walked into an actual Powerlifting gym back in June
-I now have a coach to consult with and help guide me, Coach Jay Nera

-My job moved me back home so I am no longer living in Ottawa
-I have my 5th Physio since surgery as result of the move

-My new Physio has been nothing short of awesome
-A lot of the tissue in my leg has been smashed up so things are starting to move freely

-I tried getting back into the big three
-Deadlifting pissed off nerves in my leg and has since been rectified

-Squatting is still a work in progress as I work on restrictions and stability through the torso
-Bench is moving forward as my hip is not stable and not simply locked up

-my slightly buggered right shoulder is now getting strong(er) and locking in correctly when i Bench
-Due to the tissue in my leg moving I am able to effectively use my Glute now

-As i get the glute strong(er) and firing as part of the system my back pain is lessening
-I built* a stand up desk at work and I feel 100% better because of it
*(By built i mean i jammed pkgs of paper under everything)

-Worked with my Trainer last weekend, KB's have a big place in my future to rebuild
-My Bench is also now a work in progress.

Trg Music - Butcher Babies -New Album Lilith out soon

-At the beginning of September I let work get in the way of Rehab during the day, as a result things took a dive physically, then i let my brain focus on what i couldn't do. (ie My Squat looks like hot Garbage)
- I also took the time to question why i still do what I do. I am still working on the full answer for that question in the mean time, just keep moving forward.

-I realized this and got moving again, I also talked to my bosses and got allotted time at work for Trg and Rehab.
-My body is starting to move and "remodel" again (physio word) which means in the last month i have had quite a few shifts in how i move as well as things are starting to feel normal again.

-other outside stress in my life I have managed as well as anyone could.
-this is an extremely long recovery process I just passed the 15 Month mark

-Mornings getting out of Bed seem to have gotten harder, on that same note I have different tactics for how i feel I do different rehab immediately upon awaking or standing up.
-I cannot say i have not learn a ton this past yr and a half.

Thanks for reading i will get back to the normal sets and reps later this week. I will also explain the layout of train and why i am doing what I am for now.

27 May 2017 -Growth & Self Awareness Part 4

The Sun will rise. No matter how dark the night, no matter how loud and scary the demons, PUSH ON, push through until the sunrise. 
Every nightmare will end. With the coming of the sun, is the coming of a new day.

Initially this, like everything was a learning process. Some things resonated with me immediately other things took a little time for me to realize they helped. I have done a lot of reading and experimenting in the last year to get to this point. Guidance from the Demon Hunter (Psych Doc) for other suggested reading as well as her guidance and prompting through out.


I am going to break for a second and say that this is what worked for me. The conclusions i came to. This is an ongoing process. So by no means is this over. I just have tools now that when applied and carried out regularly with discipline keep me in a healthy mindset and have me searching for happiness again. Setting short and long term goals, which is what i was missing. As well I had little to no sense of accomplishment. Most of my identity was stripped away from me, and huge parts of my life were out of touch for me or worse still I pushed them out of my life as the depression set in. This included friends, family and a larger social circle.

So in order to figure out how to rebuild, sometimes you need to tear everything down and look at who you are and what is ultimately important to you. Which is fucking terrifying and can be quite painful at times because for the process to work I had to stay with it the whole way.

As with any I research that I do,  I look for common themes or ideas. If the same idea comes up more than once from different sources usually it is a good indicator to me that I may be onto to something. Just to be clear I mean this more when it comes to actual books. Internet research can lead, at times, to whatever conclusion you want to be bias towards in the first place.

A Side effect of all this is I find myself eating less emotionally or eating out of boredom. 

Some of the reading that resonated more me in the last year has been In Pursuit of Excellence, The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck, and 10-minute Toughness. All of them brought different aspects that I needed or was searching for direction on. I did read some things that either thought offered ideas and theory yet no solid way to institute those theories into practice.

My main goal at first was to simply get all of the noise out of my head and onto paper. I have filled nearly 3 lined note books in the last year. At time the writing was fast, frantic and scribbles. Other times the words would come quickly, clearly and concisely. My hand writing at times would reflect my thoughts by how I was actually writing the words on paper which is interesting to go back and look at.  Over time things would quiet down allowing me to sleep and focus. A lot of this noise in my head came from inaction and too much alone time.

Summed up: Stop playing the victim, Take full responsibility for everything in your life.

So step one was keeping a journal. Not in the dear diary this was my day sense, think more, this is the random garbage that is on a tape real running in my head.  When I got away from writing that tape real would run on repeated loop. At times this could begin to feel overwhelming. So the search for me was HOW DO I SHUT THIS OFF? I am not always in a position to write things down. I had read a good deal of theory yet not a lot of actual tactics for shifting the mental state when it is caught on an idea. So no, the idea of think positive thoughts, doesn't work. Everything else I do has a program and a plan to make it better, so mental resiliency or mental toughness should be the same.

This is not the be all end all. It did give me more than theory of how to alter your thought patterns. It gave me concrete activities to apply almost immediately. 

This came in the form of performance statements. Now this is not standing in front of a mirror and psyching yourself up for the day. This is either a short phrase or key word that when I feel things starting to slip it breaks the cycle getting you trained to focus on what you need to do rather than thinking of what could go wrong, quickly. The book was primary written for sports, the tools and techniques can and do work in the rest of life as well.

One of the examples from 10 minute toughness was a baseball one for a hitter. World series game, hitter has had a bad time with a pitcher all season, game is on the line. Before his mind starts thinking about all those previous at-bats and how terrible they were (which is totally natural and normal) the player re-cites his performance statement which is a couple key words to remind him how to generate his best swing. So now as the hitter is stepping into the batters box he is not focused on the situation or the pitcher, he is focused on optimizing his best swing. The rest will happen as it may, except now the player is more likely to have a better performance because he is relaxed and focused on what he needs to do rather than everything that could go wrong. 10-minute toughness covers this is much better detail.

Learning to focus on my breathing multiple times a day. This is something i could do anywhere and at anytime. I have made a point of at least 5 minutes of mindful meditation a day focusing simply on my breath. I do 10-20 minutes of yoga 3-5 times a week. This has helped my hip mobility immensely and allowed my mind to settle. It is not always a focus on a mat with instruction thing either. Sometimes I just take 5-10 min before i cook a meal. This allows me to figure out if my body is holding tension anywhere which is an indicator I need to take more time to reflect and pay attention to my mind.

Sleep. I will keep this brief. Get 7 to 8 hrs of quality sleep a night. If you can't get the quality figure out a way to make it better. Sleep right now is something I keep track of. I struggle more when I do not get 7-8 hrs. The CPAP machine has done wonders for my quality of sleep as letting me know every morning how long I had the machine on or in other words roughly how much sleep I got.

Movement. Multiple times the Demon Hunter has said to me "Movement is the enemy of Depression." Simply by getting up and doing something no matter how down I felt it would shift my mental state. Sometimes it might be to stop what I am doing and do something else.

Becoming a lot more self aware that I have emotions and I need to listen to them. They do have physical manifestations and sometimes I may need to dig to get past the initial thinking of what I am feeling a try to determine what I am ultimately feeling. I have learned I cannot fully control them. I have learned to accept them and let them pass on. This is a little harder to explain in writing. The easiest example I can give is when i feel anger I try to think past it and think or see what the underlying emotion is that is causing it that i am ignoring or not paying attention to. In the past few months this has lead to some break downs in an isolated personal setting.  Saying you accept something and actually emotionally believing it are 2 totally different things. This has lead to a lot less outbursts of anger when something does not go as planned or if i do get angry it is a lot shorter as i try dig to figure out why i am pissed (Quite Honestly, Usually my own damn ego and need for control). Do not get me wrong, Anger is a very valuable emotion, simply put uncontrolled it is a waste of energy and time. Simply focusing the energy caused by the anger is more productive.

Reaching back out to friends and family. I am re-extending to my old social circles and creating some new ones. I am in a crappy work situation for social interaction working shift work for several more weeks and I am facing a new work situation after that. Ultimately I now realize I need to make the effort and not allow myself to become isolated.

 I need to be challenged, I need to feel "uncomfortable or out of my comfort zone" on a regular basis. The natural anxiety that comes from those situations has never bothered me enough to keep me from doing things. It is something I have done all my life and I need to bring it back on a regular basis. This will have me feeling like I am moving forward with a purpose. Set the odds in your favour and "Roll the Hard Six" if you will.

I need focused learning on a regular basis. I need to see growth in my life and in myself. To do this I am setting goals again. Some of them will change with time. If I achieve them I will celebrate the success (something I did not do in the past) and then set a new one. If I fail to achieve a goal it may mean I did not want it as much as I initially thought or my priorities changed. Ultimately though, the take away from any failure I realize now is that I need to learn something and then apply it in the future.

 I will briefly touch on meds. The psycho therapy worked very well for me, I continued to move through and change my own situation (doing what was asked for homework, hip surgery, CPAP, daily meditation). So in my situation it was not a required option, I am not special it simply was not something that was going to boost or assist my process in recovery. Everyone is different.

None of this process is going to stop anytime soon. In fact it should never stop. I have learned physical activity daily is important, the earlier in the day the better. Being Mindful of my breath, my body and my emotions. Taking time daily to do my own personal 10 minute mental workout to build my mental toughness, applying through out the day as necessary. Taking time to look around, see, and experience what is going on. Taking time to be as self aware as I can while still enjoying the life going on around me.

So although I may have found myself in the middle of an ocean at times treading water. I realized if i simply started swimming, no matter the direction I would find a shoreline. Sitting there treading water was not improving the situation I needed to swim.

Thanks for reading.

23 May 2017 -Growth and Self Awareness Part 3

It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster. 
-Carl Jung.

CPAP Masks are a hit with the Ladies!

So picking up from part 2: 

I covered my pre-existing mental coping strategies, my messed sleep cycle and lastly physically what the hip joint itself was doing physically to my body in terms of inflammation, cortisol, etc. So where did all this put me mentally? Short Version, you guessed it, not in a good place. 


So when I agreed to go to the psych doc I knew I was in need of some help. I had worked with a professional in the past when I had insomnia about a decade ago so anxiety and worries about stigmas for me were low. I actually learned the last time something I pass on all the time, no one knows you are seeing a professional unless you tell them. I actually had seen the professional the last time for about 7mths and talked to people I worked with daily after the fact and they had no idea that was were I went twice a week. Not every experience just mine.


Initially I thought it was the lack of constant sleep and pain I needed to learn how to handle. As well as learn what was actually happening to me physically that I mentioned previously. So when I stated I was not in a good place. In the first place yes there was depression. From a variety of factors, loss of physical function for one, having no discernible end in sight to any of the physical issues, where I would end up post, being unhappy you do not want to be around people so I isolated myself, my work situation was one in which there was no discernible achievement at the end of every work day, thinking I would never be the same again. These are just some of the things that would spiral through my head.




They were all real to me, they were all minor to me, yet with the incurred sleep debt I could not shut them off. I felt as though I had lost my resiliency and mental toughness two things I have always prided myself on. What made it worse is that I felt I would never get them back. That was when the long term effects of depression started to settle in, thoughts of turning it all off, the thoughts of suicide. The mere fact I even had these thoughts scared me enough. Ultimately I knew I would not kill myself, yet as I the Demon hunter and I talked about, I know I will not carry it through, yet what happens that one day when something major happens and my compromised mental toughness is unable to handle and now I really am in a bad state? She forced me to think it through and make plans if I got to that point.




Through out all this I was still trying to train. Still trying to physically improve and be as fit as I could be for surgery. I struggled, this was not like the ACL repair at all. This was a longer timeline and it became apparent a lot of things I had neglected for far to long wanted attention. Remember that warehouse full of shelves filled with boxes? Yeah they started to fall off the shelves. This may sound bad initially yet it will be the best thing to ever happen to me. It forced me to adapt, it forced me to grow, it forced me to do something I had not done in a long time. I began to move forward again with a real purpose.


When you your forced to acknowledge things it is initially uncomfortable (putting it lightly, at times it creates a feeling of fear and then by extension avoidance). It has taken me over a year for me to truly understand and acknowledge my emotions and to let them have their place. I have wanted to quit more than once, I even told the Demon hunter (psych doc) that a few times.




"I really wanted to cancel my appointment and never come back"
"Why did you come back"
"Despite every feeling I have I promised I would see this through no matter what"


Looking inwards, actually experiencing emotions, acknowledging your own faults and mistakes sucks it hurts. What hurts more is regret. Making mistakes and failing in life is going to happen, not taking the time to learn is even worse. I did not want to numb the pain anymore. It kept coming back, those shelves kept spilling things. It was time to go through them and clean things up so I can move the rest of my life forward with purpose and to start setting goals again. Working towards something instead of just living. If I miss the mark on a goal so be it, I will learn something. If I put in the full effort to achieve something and fall short I can live with that. If I fall short because I shirked on the effort required maybe I did not want it as much as I thought I did. I would still learn though. So I think I have covered adequately what was going on my head and the thought process was. Now how or what I have done to get to where I am now?  That is next. The things I learned, the tools I use, and some of the realizations I have made that have allowed me to move forward.

20 May 2017 - Growth & Self Awareness Part 2

"Go back and tell the Doc I am GOING to have a successful surgery. So he can stop bringing up the High Risk PCAT nonsense" That was how a discussion at the work hospital ended yesterday.  -18 May 2016

June 2016 -2 Weeks Post Op

Dec 2016 with the Help of a professional we went hunting the Demons in my head. My Physio had suggested it based on her past experience with side-lining injuries or her own. It was the start of a journey that I had no idea where it was going to lead me. I am still working through it. It has been a bigger challenge than I thought it would be, yet I have continued to work and delve deeper into my own self awareness. For along time I operated on a very basic level of instinct I will say. I learned to compartmentalize when I was a child and then working in the military that behavior was re-enforced further. I am extremely good at it. The down side is that i never learned to even acknowledge I had anything for emotions except happiness and anger. I know what you are thinking a typical guy. Except I had worked around people for decades that no matter what was going on they could calmly work through any problem. Taking in the scenario, not let it rattle them, and finding the solution. Solution orientated thinkers if you will.
Yet when you live and work this way and never ever open up in any meaningful way those experiences, those emotions go somewhere. The best metaphor I have come up with is that I boxed them up and put them on a shelf. Picture something between that Wharehouse in the first Indiana Jones movie and that giant library of Orbs in that Harry Potter movie. Thousands of boxes pilled high on a shelf. As a system of coping it works, for awhile.

Remember the sleep issues I mentioned last time? Around the time I was going in to meet the Demon Hunter I was shift work in full swing and some days I would get 9 to 12 hours of sleep between shifts. Except no matter how much or little I slept I was always exhausted. Bonking out on the coach for hours at a time. Pulling over for a 30min nap while driving home from Ottawa which was only a 1.5 to 2hr drive depending on traffic and weather. If you have no idea what happens to your body or mind when you sleep you really need to take an hour away from what ever internet hobby you may have and do some research. Everything happens when you sleep, hormones are reset, muslce is built, your mind processes and problem solves. We need sleep being a champion of under sleeping for a long time let me tell you, I was very wrong on that account. 7 to 8 hrs every night, uninterrupted. Uninterrupted is also key, I might sleep 10hrs but I would be up every 2 to 3 hrs to piss, or because i had slid out of position and my hip ached so badly i needed to re-adjust.

Because it is Rickson. 

So far we have borderline coping strategies combined with a near useless sleep system. See how things are building in a bad direction? Most of this happened slowly, incrementally over a few years without me even noticing or simply working through it. As all things do, it built up and caught up with me. There were warnings signs i simply did not notice or know what to do if I did. The answer was always just push through it.

Now the last piece was what the damaged joint was doing physically. Which I already mention the external piece the chronic pain from the arthritis. Internally my body was dealing with large amounts of cortisol and inflammation which triggers weight gain. Which causes more weight on the joints. It got to a point that some days most of my joints hurt to some degree when I really thought about it. My lower back was either inflammed or feeling like I could throw it out at any moment due to the hip being out of alignment (an actual symptom of TIA). I could no longer run or else a few hours later the swelling in the joint would be brutal. To put a fine point to it in a matter of a year I lost most or all of my physical abilities to some degree. I can only imagine people with real actual illnesses or long term chronic problems go through. I say this in the sense I am recovering for all this, which I am deeply grateful for. I actually smiled and took pleasure in being able to do yard work this week. Something a year ago that 30 min of would have put me on the couch for 2 days.

More later.

19 May 2017 - Growth & Self Awareness

19 May 2017

This is a log I have written in my head at least a few dozen times in a variety of ways. The last year has been since surgery has been bigger for my personal growth and self realization than I ever could have predicted. An easy timeline of events leading up to today. Knee Surgery followed by a smashing rehab and recovery, I was feeling back on my game. Roughly a year after surgery my lower back started having issues SI strains and my low back feeling constantly out of joint every few months. When physio would fix these issues then my hip would feel sore. My Hip pain got so bad I pushed for an X-ray, which led to the revelation of how bad my hip was internally leading to the series of surgeon's visits getting me to where I am now.

Along the way a few other things happened in my life. My work sent me 2 hrs from home to Ottawa to live and to start working shift work for the first time. The news of the pending surgery came in at this time. My daily pain levels were rising ever so slowly un-noticed by me causing my sleep to be an issue. My shift schedule and isolated living situation allowed me to sleep more than I had in years. Yet I was still tired. So I asked for a sleep study, which determined the Apnea diagnosis and gave me a CPAP machine. That machine became a game changer for me, still there were issues.

My training was consistently bad with very few highlights. I was living a situation of work, travelling home, consistent pain, decreasing physical function, and consistently exhausted from the messed up sleep schedule and at times insomnia. I stopped creating goals. I started to give up on myself. Depression started to settle in regularly. I decided for the second time in my life I would reach out for professional help. I needed tools to deal with everything going on in my head. I was broken physically and I had sought a surgeon to fix it. When that was repaired I would seek a coach to get me back to a hundred percent. In the mean time I needed a coach to rebuild and train me mentally. Mental toughness is something that needs to be exercised just like a muscle, daily.

More shortly.

06 May 2017 -the thunder rolls in the distance....

"Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt"~Sun Tzu
As much as i reveal here there are still a few things I leave out that key details specific for me. 

Every training session starts with:
(Superset)
Double KB Split Squat 2 x 5 x 8 Kg
Double KB Squat 2 x 5 x 8 Kg
Double KB Clean 2 x 10 x 12 Kg
Band Pull a parts 100 reps
Back Ext 2 x 10-20

Highlights for Week:

1 May 2130 hrs
Pull Ups 10 x 6 x Bodyweight
OH Press 1 x 5 x 115
Some assistance work as well. (Stir the Pot, Bar Rep Squats, Side Laterals, Tricep Rope Pulldowns, Rear Delt Machine, Gladiator curls) 1-3 sets of 20 to 100 reps depending on the exercise.

2 May 0455 hrs
Step Mill 100 flights - 14 min 23 Sec
Glute and Bracing exercises. I should be able to get the step mill below 14 min next time around. I am cycling my Conditioning exercises from week to week. Next week is elliptical. The Week after is KB Swings /Skipping.

3 May 1840 hrs
Squats 1 x 5 x 180, 3 x 8 x 135

Assistance work (Alternating Side Plank, Wide Bar Facepull, KB Swings, Straight leg DL, TKE.)
This felt really good both physically and mentally. I am regaining my confidence that my back is not going to blow out. My bracing is solid, my movement is getting smoother. Hitting depth regularly is also coming much easier.

Oh yeah I and go to Jits class twice a week just to cover technique for now. 

Physio Notes: My TFL is still causing some issues so he worked on it as well my Piriformis (click ink to see where it is located and handy info). He also gave me the go ahead to ramp things up this week as i am doing.

4 May 1230 hrs
Bas Rutten Muay Thai Shadow Boxing 4 x 3min rounds (in the Apt Salt water pool)
I have found this the last 3 weeks to condition my body in a different way as well as safely challenging my hips and rotation through my torso. The water also allows me to build my foot work.I have done some 2 min rounds on dry land as well with decent success. I will be back in Muay Thai classes soon.

Photo proof i can actually skip again. This is huge for me. 

5 May 1840 hrs
Bench 1 x 10 x 155, 3 x 120 x 8
Numbers are super low because I am still working on solidifying the technique Swede & Panora taught at the Seminar. The technique is tightening up and my hip lower back are accommodating the position nicely. My right rotator in my shoulder is appreciating this position and as a result my shoulder is not sore the day after benching. All signs of slow, steady, progress.
Assistance Work (Weighted Pull ups, Chest Supported rows, Barbell Curl, Pull downs, High Cable row

Next week I finish up 5's week of the cycle by Deadlifting on Monday. Transitioning into Elliptical for conditioning and pushing the 3 min shadow boxing rounds from 4 to 5.

Notes:
The last few weeks mentally have had some huge ups and downs. The upside of things though has actually pushed up some deep feelings of joy. The restrictions are starting to fall away. the simple act of being able to jump rope 30 sec On / 30 sec Off is huge. So much fell away or was simply taken away from me the last 3 yrs. I knew I was going to get a lot of physically abilities. Now that they are starting to return fully I am both humbled and proud.
There was a time that i had given up on myself and doubted i would even get half back to where I am now. It is now empowering and humbling to fully realize this about myself. The only limit i have at this point is how much is me. I am working on that part of the puzzle the true mental game. Learning how to focus on what needs to be done rather than listening to the whispering demons of self doubt or fear. I will cover the strategies i have found in the next few blogs.


Goal 1a:
The Meet is in September. My bodyweight is still creeping down slowly, right on schedule. The goal for now is to merely register, show up healthy and go 9 for 9. Finally get on the platform for the first time. This will be the last time I mention the meet until I am getting ready the final week before.

Goal 1b:
Before the meet I plan on doing the PT test for work (FORCE Test). I want to crush the numbers this year new hip and all. I have a rough plan for it in my head right now. Specific proactive will not start until mid June with an eye to complete the test late July.

Thanks for reading.

The Month in Review....April 2017

I found a quick and easy YouTube series to cover my Yoga component everyday. Which I am doing first thing to start my day. It is a short 20 min or less every morning. It is 30 day cycle so it gives me a mix of things every day.

I am doing my daily Glute work. It is getting easier daily. As the hips loosen up in the glutes are starting to fire a little more naturally on a regular basis. This has been a go to exercise for me daily at the start of most trg sessions.

Abbreviated Trg Notes:

-KB's are my primary weight. I have been doing Single Leg Squat (Clean Position), KB Squat (clean position), Cleans, and Swings. Everything except the swings is double KB. Weight varies from 8Kg, 12Kg, 16Kg, 20Kg, 24Kg. Swings are usually Single handed with a heavier bell

-The Single Leg squats seem to be stretching and strengthening my glute and hamstring tie in area allowing my ROM to feel strong(er).

-The KB Work and my trg sessions are simply in an effort to raise my overall conditioning levels and slowly bringing up my overall volume.

-I dropped the Bar reps for a few weeks. I am implementing them back in this week. I found i was pushing the ROM too hard and it was making things sore.

-I have been switching between a week of Elliptical then a week of Stair Master. My calf has loosened up so I this week will be skipping. Later this week i will be looking at getting a membership to a gym with a pool so a week of swimming will be in the loop. Oh everything has been medium to high intensity.

-excited that I am able to skip. It is helping coordination with my left leg as well as my co-ordination. Right now I am keeping things at 20 sec ON: 20 Sec OFF.

-daily Yoga has helped start my day immensely, that and Blue Heat

-I found my old Bas Rutten shadow boxing tapes.  2 or 3 min rounds, his voice calls out the combos. 1 min rest. 3 varieties between Boxing, Muay Thai, and MMA. First week I did them in the Apartment building salt water pool. It allowed me to get my feet under me and work my movement with an level of safety.

-my bodyweight since Nov has gone from 244-246 down to 229-231. I have a long way to go until I reach my goal weight. Slow and steady is the pace I am setting for now. The Meat and Nut breakfast is actually playing a big part of this. As well as the actual training and not eating crap food.

Moving Forward to What is next:

-Keeping the KB Work up. It is hardening my body up and getting my conditioning up

-Bar reps as I said are back in this week.

-weight goes on the barbell next week.

-I have picked a meet in Sept. I will be registering in a few weeks.

5th Set by Swede Burns

-I have read through Swede Burns' 5th Set completely once. I have gone through pieces of it a few more times. For the Meet in Sept I will not be utilizing it. It is a phenomenal program for Powerlifting. Which in lies the problem, part of the reason for all the conditioning work I have been doing is partially to assist my weight loss. Secondary to this is that i will have to complete my PT Test by August. 5th Set is not the right fit for me right now. I am still doing a lot of rehab, along with the conditioning and trying to rebuilding my lifts. So May to Sept I will use 5/3/1 because it is more flexible for my current goals and i am more familiar with it. 5th Set i will be be using in Sept after the meet and give it a solid run for several months.

-I will be back to hiking in the park in May

-joining a commercial gym in May, mostly for the pool. I am sure I will have stories of nonsense.

-I will have more to report regularly next week when I have the rest of my program planed out and in motion.

31 March 2017 -Moving Forward after the Seminar.

Because Shooting is important.....

What is happening next?

The seminar really was a strong point for me the last few months. Now that it is over I am taking the lessons learned from last Sunday, applying them and looking for a few other strong points to build toward.

The Seminar made me take stock of a few things. My mobility still sucks. I can and will continue to work on it. In fact that is ALL i have done this week. Mobility, Lax ball work, stretching and bar reps.

- Bar reps i will be doing for the next few weeks. I need to hammer home the new movement patterns in my brain so they become natural. Squat and DL can easily be done in my basement so no excuse not to do them through out the day. Bench will require some trips to the gym, no big deal it needs to happen.

-The Bar reps simply by performing the movement hundreds of times should also carryover into my mobility. The easiest way to lose human movement is by not using it. Ergo doing the movement (correctly) should rebuild the smoothness and ease in completely the movement as the muscles and nervous readjust. Depth on my squat will be the one issue that may require the "outside" work to help it along.

-In regards to depth, I have figured something out in the past weeks since the seminar. Swede talked about taking air into the lower belly. Explained in the video below. What I have discovered with the state of things, when i get it right I have no issues getting below parallel while squatting. Now i just to keep hammering home the technique.

I have gotten back on the mats. So BJJ is back in my regular rotation, nothing crazy, just back in my life. Jits is awesome for body awareness, strength and conditioning your body as a whole unit.

Yoga daily for 10-20 min to start my day. This is more just an organized way to make sure i stretch things out in conjunction with my hip and glute activation stuff. I also find it reminds me to do my core activation work, which in turn makes everything better all day long.

Body weight sessions and Bar reps as I mentioned earlier. I may do some Bodybuilder style lifting once or twice a week. Lifting weights will not be the focus, building endurance and pound for pound strength in multiple planes is the key for now.

I bought 5th for Powerlifting by Swede Burns (yeah if you reading this Swede I only JUST bought it). For the next month I will study the book as I get my prepped for regular lifting in May. I have picked my first meet post surgery.  9 Sept 2017. This will be first full meet ever. This will be my first registered meet.

Thanks for reading.

12 March 2017 - The Reclaiming Real Strength Tour 2017 (Lightning Fitness Seminar)

I started my journey to Connecticut well before the sun came up, stoked the wood stove, brewed a coffee, grabbed my stuff and headed out for the ferry in my fancy weekend ride. I skipped eating an actual meal for breakfast to give me an excuse....

My Rental a Chrysler 300 and the Bob Evans in Watertown, NY. 

After a filling steak and egg breakfast at Bob Evans it was time to hit the road. Nearly 400 miles later I rolled in South Windsor Connecticut.

I stopped in briefly to check out the gym, said hello to owner, a giant monster of a man, Matt Mills. Very friendly Dude. To say the facility was overwhelming is an understatement. It has everything strength sport related. I mean everything.

less than a 1/4 of the gym space and 1 of 2 Monolifts.

I headed out to find my Hotel just down the road, then grabbed some snacks and supper before crashing for the evening.

I managed to sleep despite my excitement and even with the time change I was at Lightning Fitness early. Several minutes after getting settled in I met my long time Facebook Friend Kevin Kuzia for the first time. He is also a part time blogger and vlogger.

Fierce & Mighty

It was great to finally shake his hand and hang out with him for the day.

So Swede and Greg showed up and we got the day under way. They started the day with a Q&A which covered a variety of topics.

-Recovery methods, understanding what inflammation is telling you, how to reduce damage to the body caused by lifting and a few of the signs that you need to scale back
-What is De-loading, When to De-load and the reason why (see first point)
-Get a sleep study done
-Swede shared an interesting Bell Curve I will not get into all of it because it is an entire log post in itself. I will say it started an interesting theme for the morning, You don't want to be Shitty.
-Greg Panora covered Prilepin's Chart (Which he wrote on a white board from Memory)

I knew about the chart. Had a rough idea how to apply it. The way Panora and Swede explained made it so much easier to apply in the future. 

- Learn from the experience of previous lifters so you don't make the same mistakes.
-Powerlifting is dangerous you are striving to get to a level where the weights will hurt you and then to a level where they can kill you.
-How Swede coaches his athletes and something that was huge, that he admitted is never talked about in the macho sport of Powerlifting, how to avoid Post Meet Depression. What is causes it and how he gets his athletes through it. His approach also prevents his athletes from feeling like total dog Shit post meet.
-The importance of heart health, how something as simple as walking 3 x 3 miles a week can keep you from cardiac problems. Yes another rarity in the world of extremes that is Powerlifting, guys will do anything for 10 lbs on their Bench but will do not do something as simple as walk 9 miles a week to live longer.

Swede Burns & Greg Panora

"Crawl, walk, run 3 miles, 3 times a week for your heart" -Swede Burns

-weights cuts for Powerlifting (DO NOT DO FOR YOUR FIRST MEET) and their effects as well as why or when. As well as what they feel like for those who had never done one.

"Drink a bottle of tequila the night before Training. That is what a weight cut feels like" -Greg Panora

That is just the overview of some of the stuff they covered. I will say this I learned a lot. More importantly I realized that the sources I get my knowledge from are valuable because 2 men with decades in Powerlifting confirmed a lot of what I had figured out for myself or had learned else where. Anytime experienced people in afield confirm the same findings as you, you can be pretty sure the knowledge is extremely valuable and relevant.

So after making my ears nearly bleed from all the knowledge imparted we moved onto to the technique portion of the seminar. Squat - Bench - Deadlift. In that order. Always. As powerlifters I don't even think we could say it any other way let alone do it in any other order. The universe might implode.

The Squat:

I was in Swede's group. He broke the technique down very simply. His focus for the day was to make sure we were all doing things safely then to make corrections on the gross errors.

Quite simply he Broke the Squat down to
Air
Neck
Brace
Squat

Yes four words. With those 4 words EVERYONE made improvements in their technique.

These 2 articles covers what Swede taught about bracing. Having him explain it person is priceless.

Activation for Lifting

Embracing the Brace

For me these things made a big difference. Then Swede had me make some minor adjustments to my feet width and placement. That was when the magic happened. No pinching or pain in my hip while squatting. Consistently. My glutes also felt like they were working effectively as well. Although I still have problems with stiffness and hitting depth, this is huge for me and a new place to move forward from with my lifting.

Air-Neck-Brace-Squat

I may need to adjust things in a few months as my body gets strong(er), for now I can work on the technique and see how things end up.

We hit Moe's for lunch. I will say this, the USA has a plethora of Taco places compared to Canada. I will not claim they were world class or anything outlandish. They definitely hit the spot. We had already been at it for 3+ hours. Everyone was hungry.

Post Lunch we started with BENCH.

This was Co-Taught by both Greg and Swede. In a room of 30+ people, all of them lifters (including 1 Crossfitter and several Strongmen) no One walked away without improving their bench or cramping up in new and wonderful ways. The position to bench correctly is uncomfortably initially, with practice it does get a little easier. I cannot do it justice by writing it out.

Swede suggested 10 set of 10 reps with the Bar every lifting day until the setup becomes natural.

The main point of the position for Benching is to utilize leg drive. For me this has always been a little elusive. Now that I understand what the position feels like and how to get into, my Bench is going to improve. My Shoulders were not irritated at all by the position and although tucking my feet under did not bother my hip, it is even easier on my quads and hips.

Kevin Kuzia, Matt Mills (Owner Lightning Fitness), Greg Panora, and Swede Burns

When Swede was position my rib cage properly and my left calf cramped super hard. I managed to jump up and get it to settle down. After a few people went i got on and tried it again. No problems (other than regular back cramping of course) the second time. The cool thing, the mild nerve pain I had in my heel has been gone since.

Finally we finished with the Deadlift. Greg Panora explained and then demonstrated a different way to set up for the Deadlift than I had seen before. The intent is the same, put tension on the Glute and Hamstrings in order to use the Strong(er) muscles to get the bar off the floor with purpose and intent. It seemed simple enough, yet highly effective. Greg also covered how to use the same technique and apply it to Sumo Deadlifting as well.

So walking away from the Seminar I have a few weeks of continuing to push the ROM in hip to remove the restrictions preventing me from having continuous fluid movement. I will be doing bar reps for the next month or so. When things start to feel natural I will begin adding weight again. Hammer home the technique and build things back up.

I will be attending another seminar in the future for sure. I would recommend it for anyone to attend regardless of your lifting goals. You will get a ton of information from these guys and technique instruction from Dudes have been doing it for decades.

Thank you to Greg Panora and Swede Burns for passing on your valuable knowledge.
 Matt Mills thank you for opening your facility to me, your facility is amazing and truly is a hidden gem.

Whether absolute beginner (there was a few in attendance) to very experienced lifter as well as anyone in between, everyone who attended walked away with information they could apply to their lifting and make immediate improvement. Which is invaluable to those who want to move forward and get Strong(er).