06 May 2017 -the thunder rolls in the distance....

"Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt"~Sun Tzu
As much as i reveal here there are still a few things I leave out that key details specific for me. 

Every training session starts with:
(Superset)
Double KB Split Squat 2 x 5 x 8 Kg
Double KB Squat 2 x 5 x 8 Kg
Double KB Clean 2 x 10 x 12 Kg
Band Pull a parts 100 reps
Back Ext 2 x 10-20

Highlights for Week:

1 May 2130 hrs
Pull Ups 10 x 6 x Bodyweight
OH Press 1 x 5 x 115
Some assistance work as well. (Stir the Pot, Bar Rep Squats, Side Laterals, Tricep Rope Pulldowns, Rear Delt Machine, Gladiator curls) 1-3 sets of 20 to 100 reps depending on the exercise.

2 May 0455 hrs
Step Mill 100 flights - 14 min 23 Sec
Glute and Bracing exercises. I should be able to get the step mill below 14 min next time around. I am cycling my Conditioning exercises from week to week. Next week is elliptical. The Week after is KB Swings /Skipping.

3 May 1840 hrs
Squats 1 x 5 x 180, 3 x 8 x 135

Assistance work (Alternating Side Plank, Wide Bar Facepull, KB Swings, Straight leg DL, TKE.)
This felt really good both physically and mentally. I am regaining my confidence that my back is not going to blow out. My bracing is solid, my movement is getting smoother. Hitting depth regularly is also coming much easier.

Oh yeah I and go to Jits class twice a week just to cover technique for now. 

Physio Notes: My TFL is still causing some issues so he worked on it as well my Piriformis (click ink to see where it is located and handy info). He also gave me the go ahead to ramp things up this week as i am doing.

4 May 1230 hrs
Bas Rutten Muay Thai Shadow Boxing 4 x 3min rounds (in the Apt Salt water pool)
I have found this the last 3 weeks to condition my body in a different way as well as safely challenging my hips and rotation through my torso. The water also allows me to build my foot work.I have done some 2 min rounds on dry land as well with decent success. I will be back in Muay Thai classes soon.

Photo proof i can actually skip again. This is huge for me. 

5 May 1840 hrs
Bench 1 x 10 x 155, 3 x 120 x 8
Numbers are super low because I am still working on solidifying the technique Swede & Panora taught at the Seminar. The technique is tightening up and my hip lower back are accommodating the position nicely. My right rotator in my shoulder is appreciating this position and as a result my shoulder is not sore the day after benching. All signs of slow, steady, progress.
Assistance Work (Weighted Pull ups, Chest Supported rows, Barbell Curl, Pull downs, High Cable row

Next week I finish up 5's week of the cycle by Deadlifting on Monday. Transitioning into Elliptical for conditioning and pushing the 3 min shadow boxing rounds from 4 to 5.

Notes:
The last few weeks mentally have had some huge ups and downs. The upside of things though has actually pushed up some deep feelings of joy. The restrictions are starting to fall away. the simple act of being able to jump rope 30 sec On / 30 sec Off is huge. So much fell away or was simply taken away from me the last 3 yrs. I knew I was going to get a lot of physically abilities. Now that they are starting to return fully I am both humbled and proud.
There was a time that i had given up on myself and doubted i would even get half back to where I am now. It is now empowering and humbling to fully realize this about myself. The only limit i have at this point is how much is me. I am working on that part of the puzzle the true mental game. Learning how to focus on what needs to be done rather than listening to the whispering demons of self doubt or fear. I will cover the strategies i have found in the next few blogs.


Goal 1a:
The Meet is in September. My bodyweight is still creeping down slowly, right on schedule. The goal for now is to merely register, show up healthy and go 9 for 9. Finally get on the platform for the first time. This will be the last time I mention the meet until I am getting ready the final week before.

Goal 1b:
Before the meet I plan on doing the PT test for work (FORCE Test). I want to crush the numbers this year new hip and all. I have a rough plan for it in my head right now. Specific proactive will not start until mid June with an eye to complete the test late July.

Thanks for reading.

The Month in Review....April 2017

I found a quick and easy YouTube series to cover my Yoga component everyday. Which I am doing first thing to start my day. It is a short 20 min or less every morning. It is 30 day cycle so it gives me a mix of things every day.

I am doing my daily Glute work. It is getting easier daily. As the hips loosen up in the glutes are starting to fire a little more naturally on a regular basis. This has been a go to exercise for me daily at the start of most trg sessions.

Abbreviated Trg Notes:

-KB's are my primary weight. I have been doing Single Leg Squat (Clean Position), KB Squat (clean position), Cleans, and Swings. Everything except the swings is double KB. Weight varies from 8Kg, 12Kg, 16Kg, 20Kg, 24Kg. Swings are usually Single handed with a heavier bell

-The Single Leg squats seem to be stretching and strengthening my glute and hamstring tie in area allowing my ROM to feel strong(er).

-The KB Work and my trg sessions are simply in an effort to raise my overall conditioning levels and slowly bringing up my overall volume.

-I dropped the Bar reps for a few weeks. I am implementing them back in this week. I found i was pushing the ROM too hard and it was making things sore.

-I have been switching between a week of Elliptical then a week of Stair Master. My calf has loosened up so I this week will be skipping. Later this week i will be looking at getting a membership to a gym with a pool so a week of swimming will be in the loop. Oh everything has been medium to high intensity.

-excited that I am able to skip. It is helping coordination with my left leg as well as my co-ordination. Right now I am keeping things at 20 sec ON: 20 Sec OFF.

-daily Yoga has helped start my day immensely, that and Blue Heat

-I found my old Bas Rutten shadow boxing tapes.  2 or 3 min rounds, his voice calls out the combos. 1 min rest. 3 varieties between Boxing, Muay Thai, and MMA. First week I did them in the Apartment building salt water pool. It allowed me to get my feet under me and work my movement with an level of safety.

-my bodyweight since Nov has gone from 244-246 down to 229-231. I have a long way to go until I reach my goal weight. Slow and steady is the pace I am setting for now. The Meat and Nut breakfast is actually playing a big part of this. As well as the actual training and not eating crap food.

Moving Forward to What is next:

-Keeping the KB Work up. It is hardening my body up and getting my conditioning up

-Bar reps as I said are back in this week.

-weight goes on the barbell next week.

-I have picked a meet in Sept. I will be registering in a few weeks.

5th Set by Swede Burns

-I have read through Swede Burns' 5th Set completely once. I have gone through pieces of it a few more times. For the Meet in Sept I will not be utilizing it. It is a phenomenal program for Powerlifting. Which in lies the problem, part of the reason for all the conditioning work I have been doing is partially to assist my weight loss. Secondary to this is that i will have to complete my PT Test by August. 5th Set is not the right fit for me right now. I am still doing a lot of rehab, along with the conditioning and trying to rebuilding my lifts. So May to Sept I will use 5/3/1 because it is more flexible for my current goals and i am more familiar with it. 5th Set i will be be using in Sept after the meet and give it a solid run for several months.

-I will be back to hiking in the park in May

-joining a commercial gym in May, mostly for the pool. I am sure I will have stories of nonsense.

-I will have more to report regularly next week when I have the rest of my program planed out and in motion.

31 March 2017 -Moving Forward after the Seminar.

Because Shooting is important.....

What is happening next?

The seminar really was a strong point for me the last few months. Now that it is over I am taking the lessons learned from last Sunday, applying them and looking for a few other strong points to build toward.

The Seminar made me take stock of a few things. My mobility still sucks. I can and will continue to work on it. In fact that is ALL i have done this week. Mobility, Lax ball work, stretching and bar reps.

- Bar reps i will be doing for the next few weeks. I need to hammer home the new movement patterns in my brain so they become natural. Squat and DL can easily be done in my basement so no excuse not to do them through out the day. Bench will require some trips to the gym, no big deal it needs to happen.

-The Bar reps simply by performing the movement hundreds of times should also carryover into my mobility. The easiest way to lose human movement is by not using it. Ergo doing the movement (correctly) should rebuild the smoothness and ease in completely the movement as the muscles and nervous readjust. Depth on my squat will be the one issue that may require the "outside" work to help it along.

-In regards to depth, I have figured something out in the past weeks since the seminar. Swede talked about taking air into the lower belly. Explained in the video below. What I have discovered with the state of things, when i get it right I have no issues getting below parallel while squatting. Now i just to keep hammering home the technique.

I have gotten back on the mats. So BJJ is back in my regular rotation, nothing crazy, just back in my life. Jits is awesome for body awareness, strength and conditioning your body as a whole unit.

Yoga daily for 10-20 min to start my day. This is more just an organized way to make sure i stretch things out in conjunction with my hip and glute activation stuff. I also find it reminds me to do my core activation work, which in turn makes everything better all day long.

Body weight sessions and Bar reps as I mentioned earlier. I may do some Bodybuilder style lifting once or twice a week. Lifting weights will not be the focus, building endurance and pound for pound strength in multiple planes is the key for now.

I bought 5th for Powerlifting by Swede Burns (yeah if you reading this Swede I only JUST bought it). For the next month I will study the book as I get my prepped for regular lifting in May. I have picked my first meet post surgery.  9 Sept 2017. This will be first full meet ever. This will be my first registered meet.

Thanks for reading.

12 March 2017 - The Reclaiming Real Strength Tour 2017 (Lightning Fitness Seminar)

I started my journey to Connecticut well before the sun came up, stoked the wood stove, brewed a coffee, grabbed my stuff and headed out for the ferry in my fancy weekend ride. I skipped eating an actual meal for breakfast to give me an excuse....

My Rental a Chrysler 300 and the Bob Evans in Watertown, NY. 

After a filling steak and egg breakfast at Bob Evans it was time to hit the road. Nearly 400 miles later I rolled in South Windsor Connecticut.

I stopped in briefly to check out the gym, said hello to owner, a giant monster of a man, Matt Mills. Very friendly Dude. To say the facility was overwhelming is an understatement. It has everything strength sport related. I mean everything.

less than a 1/4 of the gym space and 1 of 2 Monolifts.

I headed out to find my Hotel just down the road, then grabbed some snacks and supper before crashing for the evening.

I managed to sleep despite my excitement and even with the time change I was at Lightning Fitness early. Several minutes after getting settled in I met my long time Facebook Friend Kevin Kuzia for the first time. He is also a part time blogger and vlogger.

Fierce & Mighty

It was great to finally shake his hand and hang out with him for the day.

So Swede and Greg showed up and we got the day under way. They started the day with a Q&A which covered a variety of topics.

-Recovery methods, understanding what inflammation is telling you, how to reduce damage to the body caused by lifting and a few of the signs that you need to scale back
-What is De-loading, When to De-load and the reason why (see first point)
-Get a sleep study done
-Swede shared an interesting Bell Curve I will not get into all of it because it is an entire log post in itself. I will say it started an interesting theme for the morning, You don't want to be Shitty.
-Greg Panora covered Prilepin's Chart (Which he wrote on a white board from Memory)

I knew about the chart. Had a rough idea how to apply it. The way Panora and Swede explained made it so much easier to apply in the future. 

- Learn from the experience of previous lifters so you don't make the same mistakes.
-Powerlifting is dangerous you are striving to get to a level where the weights will hurt you and then to a level where they can kill you.
-How Swede coaches his athletes and something that was huge, that he admitted is never talked about in the macho sport of Powerlifting, how to avoid Post Meet Depression. What is causes it and how he gets his athletes through it. His approach also prevents his athletes from feeling like total dog Shit post meet.
-The importance of heart health, how something as simple as walking 3 x 3 miles a week can keep you from cardiac problems. Yes another rarity in the world of extremes that is Powerlifting, guys will do anything for 10 lbs on their Bench but will do not do something as simple as walk 9 miles a week to live longer.

Swede Burns & Greg Panora

"Crawl, walk, run 3 miles, 3 times a week for your heart" -Swede Burns

-weights cuts for Powerlifting (DO NOT DO FOR YOUR FIRST MEET) and their effects as well as why or when. As well as what they feel like for those who had never done one.

"Drink a bottle of tequila the night before Training. That is what a weight cut feels like" -Greg Panora

That is just the overview of some of the stuff they covered. I will say this I learned a lot. More importantly I realized that the sources I get my knowledge from are valuable because 2 men with decades in Powerlifting confirmed a lot of what I had figured out for myself or had learned else where. Anytime experienced people in afield confirm the same findings as you, you can be pretty sure the knowledge is extremely valuable and relevant.

So after making my ears nearly bleed from all the knowledge imparted we moved onto to the technique portion of the seminar. Squat - Bench - Deadlift. In that order. Always. As powerlifters I don't even think we could say it any other way let alone do it in any other order. The universe might implode.

The Squat:

I was in Swede's group. He broke the technique down very simply. His focus for the day was to make sure we were all doing things safely then to make corrections on the gross errors.

Quite simply he Broke the Squat down to
Air
Neck
Brace
Squat

Yes four words. With those 4 words EVERYONE made improvements in their technique.

These 2 articles covers what Swede taught about bracing. Having him explain it person is priceless.

Activation for Lifting

Embracing the Brace

For me these things made a big difference. Then Swede had me make some minor adjustments to my feet width and placement. That was when the magic happened. No pinching or pain in my hip while squatting. Consistently. My glutes also felt like they were working effectively as well. Although I still have problems with stiffness and hitting depth, this is huge for me and a new place to move forward from with my lifting.

Air-Neck-Brace-Squat

I may need to adjust things in a few months as my body gets strong(er), for now I can work on the technique and see how things end up.

We hit Moe's for lunch. I will say this, the USA has a plethora of Taco places compared to Canada. I will not claim they were world class or anything outlandish. They definitely hit the spot. We had already been at it for 3+ hours. Everyone was hungry.

Post Lunch we started with BENCH.

This was Co-Taught by both Greg and Swede. In a room of 30+ people, all of them lifters (including 1 Crossfitter and several Strongmen) no One walked away without improving their bench or cramping up in new and wonderful ways. The position to bench correctly is uncomfortably initially, with practice it does get a little easier. I cannot do it justice by writing it out.

Swede suggested 10 set of 10 reps with the Bar every lifting day until the setup becomes natural.

The main point of the position for Benching is to utilize leg drive. For me this has always been a little elusive. Now that I understand what the position feels like and how to get into, my Bench is going to improve. My Shoulders were not irritated at all by the position and although tucking my feet under did not bother my hip, it is even easier on my quads and hips.

Kevin Kuzia, Matt Mills (Owner Lightning Fitness), Greg Panora, and Swede Burns

When Swede was position my rib cage properly and my left calf cramped super hard. I managed to jump up and get it to settle down. After a few people went i got on and tried it again. No problems (other than regular back cramping of course) the second time. The cool thing, the mild nerve pain I had in my heel has been gone since.

Finally we finished with the Deadlift. Greg Panora explained and then demonstrated a different way to set up for the Deadlift than I had seen before. The intent is the same, put tension on the Glute and Hamstrings in order to use the Strong(er) muscles to get the bar off the floor with purpose and intent. It seemed simple enough, yet highly effective. Greg also covered how to use the same technique and apply it to Sumo Deadlifting as well.

So walking away from the Seminar I have a few weeks of continuing to push the ROM in hip to remove the restrictions preventing me from having continuous fluid movement. I will be doing bar reps for the next month or so. When things start to feel natural I will begin adding weight again. Hammer home the technique and build things back up.

I will be attending another seminar in the future for sure. I would recommend it for anyone to attend regardless of your lifting goals. You will get a ton of information from these guys and technique instruction from Dudes have been doing it for decades.

Thank you to Greg Panora and Swede Burns for passing on your valuable knowledge.
 Matt Mills thank you for opening your facility to me, your facility is amazing and truly is a hidden gem.

Whether absolute beginner (there was a few in attendance) to very experienced lifter as well as anyone in between, everyone who attended walked away with information they could apply to their lifting and make immediate improvement. Which is invaluable to those who want to move forward and get Strong(er).

03 March 2017- No plan survives first contact with the enemy....

25 Feb
Over a week since I had been in the actual gym to lift. I had the intention of hitting the first week numbers just to get some work in and then re-adjust to start fresh on Monday. Well my Hip had other plans. Warming up with only 135 i felt my lower back start to hyper extend ever so slightly and then cramp up. So i called squats for the day. When i ignored this a month ago i really crippled myself up for over a week and had to go see the RMT. I learn. Sometimes slowly and painfully. I do learn.

I moved onto to some light Incline press with the Shoulder saver pad and did 15 or 16 sets of Pull ups (sets of 5) before shutting things down for the night.

I spent the next 2 days doing clam shells, stretching and figuring out how to get my back to relax and settle down. It worked.

This is becoming a science experiment of trial and error with my hip. I am collecting Data and slowly figuring things out.

27 Feb
I had different thoughts going into the gym tonight. By the time I got there I decided fuck the plan. Fuck everything I am going to rehab and stretch in order to get one good set of squats in. After 30 plus minutes of Belt squats on boxes (and using the setup to help stretch things), Lax balling most of my left side, foam rolling, Clam shells, and some other activation exercises I put the bar on my back then squatted to a ridiculously high box. dropping things down every few sets until I was 1 inch below parallel then i moved back to parallel. I ended up getting 2 x 5 x 95 to a parallel box that good and smooth (after the first one I wanted to make sure it was not a fluke.

So the evening was a success. I figured out a few different things with the Lax ball in order to smooth out the odd restrictions in my hip.

After every set I would analyze what felt weak, restricted, hurt or simply felt off and i rolled on the foam roller or smashed shit with the Lax ball.

I figure if i can get to the point where my squat is strong and smooth I will be able to cut back on the 30-60 min a day of rehab in order to work normal and not be uncomfortable all day.

So for now I will keep collecting data and see what becomes the key themes before I see the Physio on Friday and before I head to Connecticut.

03 Mar

In some ways I want to call this week a write off. It is Friday and no lifting, "Cardio" or Conditioning. All I did all week was stretch, Yoga, smash everything with a Lax Ball or Grey Rumble Roller. Oh and a ton of Glute activation and Strength Exercises. I also started standing on two boxes with a Dip belt then doing slow squats. It seems to settle the Piriformis issue and my ROM is increasing in the squat. I work the squat width from narrow out to very wide and simply move slow trying to feel my way through. I tried doing SLDL and Good Mornings with a bar as another experiment, again slow moving trying to feel things out. Things are coming along, just not as fast as I want.
In the next few days I am going to experiment with the KB's to see what I can and cannot do. From there I will build a daily routine. I am not sure if I am going to back off completely from Barbell lifting for a little bit or not, I just felt like i was beating my head into a door as my Squat and DL were not improving in either movement quality or strength anymore so I figured I should back up and try a different approach. Like i said the plan changes in the middle of the attack sometimes.

Physio Notes: 
I have realized my Physio is Chatty. Now with saying that when I gave him the days update all he replied with was "Yup, we are headed in the right direction. Everything you are describing is normal" Then proceeded with hammering my glute with his elbow for 20 min followed by 15 min of heat pad.

I will probably let the next week be very organic in my approach. I will be in Connecticut a week Sunday. I am getting super excited to be heading out. I think meeting these guys and visiting this gym is going to be an awesome experience. I don't expect miracles from these guys in assisting me with my situation. At the same time though I would not be surprised at all.

 In the mean time i will up the intensity this week so I feel like some harder work is being done on top of the experimenting.

23 Feb 2017 - The Little things

This is meant to cover a lot of the little things I am doing that i forget to mention when typing out the weekly logs. Most of this stuff is done daily, several times a week, or in every training session in some form or fashion

Nutrition
Breakfast - I have switched to the MEAT & NUTS Breakfast. The Idea came from Charles Poliquin, i have read about it in the past. Coach Selkow Started it a little over a month ago and gave it his seal of approval. It is the real deal. My Hunger is way down as is my craving for sugar throughout the day. I also don't spend midnight shifts avoiding the canteen because of temptation or craving.

Bed Time- I drink a tasty drink of Boiled Water, 1 tsp Turmeric, 2 Cap fulls of Lemon Juice, and a 1 tsp of Honey. This has helped me sleep and kept my swelling, inflammation, and cortisol down.

My Coffee /Caffeine intake is down to a minimum. Working on becoming less and less dependent even when I work midnight shifts.

My Water intake is at prime levels, better than it has been in a long time.

I still Jack & Coke don't get me wrong

Prehab

This may not count as Prehab or Rehab. KB Swings get done every time I am in the gym in some form or fashion. I am getting to the point that things feel solid enough to try 2 x 35lbs KB for movements. Typically i do KB Swings with a single 53 lbs KB. My endurance in my glute is building. Overall my body is getting strong(er) as a full unit once again. A little more time.

I am doing something every morning when I get out of bed. The Hip rotations in a hands & knees position is coming quickly, I am getting the movement and the muscles are engaging properly.

I am finally able to feel like I am stretching my hip fully.

Other things I am planning on getting into:

This is my Saturday night.This is a very big deal for anyone who knows about the history of fighting in Ontario Canada. 

Muay Thai - I will be getting back into holding pads when I can at a gym close to my residence in Ottawa. When I am home in Kingston I will do the same. I am only going to do this at an adhoc basis right now as working a shift schedule i do not have the time to set up anything meaningful. Something is better than nothing. I will start experimenting hitting the heavy bag and mitts in a few more weeks.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - This has quietly been making a return in my life. I will be back to training full time rather shortly. This will also involve travel. i have a lot of friends spread all over. Some i have not seen in a very long time. It will be good to see them again, to train and to get choked by them.

First up in gyms to visit, train, and learn

other gyms - In an effort to push out of my comfort zone i will start travelling to other Powerlifting gyms to learn, get strong(er) and to the expand my knowledge. First up i guess is the Seminar in Connecticut. After that I will be looking at contacting the Whetham's in order to set something up. That will be a trip down the road to Outlaw Powerlifting

I will of course do write ups for all the places I travel.

Schooling
I am enrolling in a University course with the goal of eventually getting a full BA. This is something I will be doing part time and predominantly online. It is time i built up my future and stopped pretending to be a simple Knuckle dragger.

There is some other things still in the works with my career that leave somethings hanging in the balance under final decisions are made much later this year. Before those decisions happen I am going through a bunch of retirement seminars, resume writing courses, and some other stuff to help prepare me to find a new career /job with my existing skill sets. This unknown future is another reason I am doing the university thing as well.

Shooting 
I will be cleaning my guns and getting them ready for the year. A new range opened up closer to home (it is actually mid way between both my residences) so that has me excited. More on that when I get registered and figure things out. 

Wilderness
One of the things I have figured out is that if my job is not going to get me outside then I have to make time for it outside of work. To this end  I am looking at several events and training in Frontenac Park in May /June. When those are completed I will plan a few several day camping trips over the summer and in the fall. Of course there is also the Frontenac Challenge that I came up short completing last fall. I will be in a much better position to get it completed this year, I have even contemplated taking a week off work and doing the full 180+km in 7 days.

So yeah overall I am putting a fire under my ass or whatever cliche phrase you want to use. Quite simply it is time I got off my ass and did stuff. My living situation and my work situation are less than satisfying. So i will fill as much as my time doing other things.

18 Feb - Sun comes up and goes back down....

This week may be a bit of a write off for lifting. My Schedule has been all over. My sleep has been rough and as you will read below seeing the Demon Hunter has created more work than peace. Despite it all my nutrition has stayed on point. My Rehab has improved.

Deadlifting on Saturday seemed to really tighten up and piss off my hip. The timing worked out well as I had an RMT appt booked for Monday.

RMT Notes:
This time he really dug in there as far as he could get to smooth things out and get the rest of the tissue moving. I definitely did not walk out of there feeling like i did last time. I felt ok for about an hour or two and then the work he did seemed to settle in. The day after everything feels sore yet better than last night.

Afterwards I went for a lunch with a friend of mine. We spent 2 hrs laughing at a lot of random shit. Most of which I cannot discuss here. Most of it was not PC. Some might perhaps consider borderline legal (not illegal, just testing the letter and intent of the law). Definitely all funny. Oh and he pretty much demanded I go see John Wick 2 this. Although i have been warned I may leave the movie theater, get home, and then spend the next two hours practicing clearing drills in my house.

15 Feb
Got up, stretched. Then later I did my normal Bench /Upper back day.

17 Feb

The schedule at this point was all over the place. After seeing the Demon hunter on Friday i was in no place mentally to lift. So i took the day.

18 Feb

Since Deadlifting is a direct irritant to my piriformis (i figured this out the week before) I decided to Box Squat instead. My head was into the game better so I was able to focus and work some of my frustrations out and get some focus. 

16 Feb

 Physio Notes:
He figured out who he has a patient. He was super impressed with my progress in such a short time. My reply "I am here to win, not to lose".
We spent the next 20 min with him smashing my pirifomis with his elbow. it made me think i really need a BOOMSTICK from Kabuki Strength.
I spent another 20 min or so with a heat pad on my hip to let things settle.

17 Feb

Demon Hunter:
As much I have made progress with my mental game the last 2 weeks have been rough. My living and work situation are rough to say the least. I found out I am going to have to live it another year. I really seemed to have an issue accepting it. My resiliency as a result has been nearly non-existent or at least that is how it feels. I am working on this this. I also learned an important lesson. Do Not go back work after an appointment. I do need time to process.

Yeah this log is all over the place. Thanks for reading.

I am facing some adversity right now. I will find my path through it or learn to embrace the chaos.